Pantomime Mime
Pantomime Mime is a pantomime released every Christmas at a randomly decided theatre in every country. You are all free to add characters and scenes to this page. It can be basically described as the pythonesque hallucination of a Pooh's Adventures video maker after discovering his dad's stash of Absinthe. Origins After licensing the characters and managing to create the play, the first performance of the pantomime was put on at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City. This performance was taped and released on home media and the internet. Characters For the people who acted as each character, see Pantomime Mime/Cast. Lana The female lead protagonist of the show. Lana has two little sisters who are extremely fond of desserts (to the point that the three devoted their "Twelve Days of Christmas" rip-off to desserts). Random Audience Member A cute woman taken randomly from the audience to play a minor role in the play. Supporting Cast Four men and eight women who show up all across the play to serve various random roles. Lincoln A boy who has 10 sisters. In this special only, he snorts bath salt out of obligation. Ronnie Anne Lincoln Loud's presumable love interest who is ready to f sh up. (: Mallow Mallow has a thing for cooking, breaking the fourth wall and making random pop culture references. She is best friends with Lana and pretty much the entire audience. Elise the Septiplier Fanatic A girl who shoves Septiplier down everybody's throats. Harper and Sarah Lana's two twin sisters. Arylon A dancing girl known as the "Spirit of the Ring", who lives in a gold ring. Dancers Four men in somewhat revealing attire who dance alongside Arylon whenever she's on the stage. Cleo An giant anthro cat who lives in a junkyard in a fishing village. She is normally seen with her two friends, Roxie and Dixie, whenever on stage. Whenever angry, she just says "You vamp you!" and startles the audience with her creepy-a p ed off face. Dr. Robotnik A Russia man known for his famous word for his pee-pee, "PINGAS" Soldier A racist American patriot solider who is stuck in the Cold War era. Microsoft Sam Loves to take diarrhea dumps on his toilet. DEVO A group of 5 men wearing yellow radiation suits and plastic red flowerpots on their heads who perform their hit song "Whip It" in the middle of the play to an startled crowd of millions. They appear again to sing a different song in each act. Booji Boy A man wearing a baby mask and glasses who is murdered by Cleo using a Care Bear Stare Catillac Cat Stare. Chandler An a hole who treats Lincoln for granted and uses the fact Lincoln's sister Lori has a job means that he can get free things. He is only mentioned when Sarah and Harper attack Lincoln with NSFW Yaoi art of him and Lincoln, and that Dat Boi is disguised as him. Robbie Rotten A god who came from Heaven to prevent the infants in the audience from unacceptable content. Favors those damn cringe compilations on YouTube. Also sings his hit songs, "You Are a Pirate", "We are Number One", and "Master of Disguise" to the startled audience. Overly Sexualized Elf A New Joysey girl who works part time for Santa. The Catillac Cats The gang Cleo founded. Consists of her, Riff-Raff, Hector, Wordsworth, and Mungo. Azzie A 12 year old who strangely owns a chainsaw. She is set to appear in Act 3. Old Man He discovers this pantomime is completely useless cause the characters talk. General Boy Booji Boy's father. He owns a AK-47 and is ready to kill. Billy Mays A TV salesman. Loves to hawk Oxi Clean at the startled audience. Vince Offer Enemy to the Mays. The Reppies Characters from an obscure PBS show that now airs edited for a Christian audience on Smile of a Child TV. Peter Panda Crazy old mascot from the 80's. HE IS YOUR GOD. Krampus He is only in this pantomime to steal your presents. Santa Claus The savior of Christmas. He is green in this pantomime because the red Santa suit was lost in transport. Sportacus The big blue kangaroo. Pitchy/The Dark Overlord A Super Mario villain OC created by MegaToon1234. He appears as his regular 2D form (Pitchy) during some acts after Act 3 and also appears as his physical, 3D, powerful, evil form (The Dark Overlord) during the final act. Poppet A pink squirrel who collects Plushies for a living. She is most commonly seen in the local McDonald's playplace. Penguin Judges Three judges for the talent show "Strictly Random-ness", each of which is a differently coloured penguin. Luan A presumable lesbian who is going insane right now. Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz WHO ARE THEY!? Mister Skeleton A skeleton. Ghosts Five ghosts who serve as stagehands in this pantomime. They do a lot of helpful things such as changing sets, adjusting lightning and censoring swear words. Plot Act 1 At first, the Supporting Cast comes onto the stage and begins dancing while singing "Rockabye" by Clean Bandit. At the end of the song, Sarah (Lana's sister) comes on the stage and questions where Lana is. A few seconds later, Lana walks onto the stage, followed by Harper (Lana's other sister), apologising for being away because she was, and I quote, "trying to make the most out of Pokemon GO". Harper then proceeds to point out that there's a Pikachu right behind Lana, distracting her for long enough for Sarah and Harper to introduce themselves to the entire audience. Mallow the proceeds to come onto the stage while simultaneously whisking up some pancake batter. She is just about to introduce herself, only for Lana to come back onto the stage, giving Mallow enough of a shock to drop her whisk. After giving the bowl to the supporting cast, Mallow begins a conversation with Lana, and the two decide to stash some Vienna Coffee at the side of the stage, telling the audience to yell "Cream Crisis!" when a character approaches the Vienna Coffee. All of sudden, DEVO appear and perform their hit song "Whip It" to the startled crowd as the backdrop pulls up to reveal Vari-Lites moving in all directions and a rear-project sheet of foil playing the band's backup video for the song in concerts. Lana tells the audience to sing along with DEVO as they sing a song about whipping your problems away. The band then whips the coffee and drink it with Mallow and Lana, before leaving and the backdrop coming back down in front of the RP sheet of foil and Vari Lites. Lana wonders what the heck happened. Soon, Cleo walks onto stage and she and her friends Roxie and Dixie sing the song "Come On and Slam And Let's Slam Our P ies", a lesbian love song. They then kiss while Mallow tells the audience to "DECLARE HOMOSEXUALITY A SIN LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" No one responds, since no one cares about LGBT rights and religion together. Then, Booji Boy appears and sings his song "Beautiful World", but then is murdered by Cleo. We then see Lincoln and Ronnie Anne jump into the scene and dance everywhere. Sarah and Harper then smack Lincoln and RA with papers that contain hardcore LincolnxChandler Yaoi art. Lincoln states he doesn't want it to be seen, but the twins don't listen and send in Dat Boi who is disguised as Chandler. Dat Boi then proceeds to introduce himself and Ronnie beats him up as he is speaking and then goes to burn a Homosexual pride flag that's nearby. Then, two members of the Supporting Cast dressed as stagehands appear and extinguish the burning flag with fire extinguishers. Solider appears and sings the song "Notorious KKK" and attacks all countries that are not the United States of America. Halfway through, Robbie Rotten appears and pulls down a curtain over Soldier, stating "Don't let your kids watch it!" before the stage curtain comes down. Act 2 Lana, Sarah and Harper come onto the stage to quite literally apologise for the strange goings-on near the end of the first act. They then decide to sing their rip-off of "Twelve Days of Christmas" based on various desserts, moments before they, alongside the supporting cast, bombard the audience with dessert-firing machine guns. A bunch of radical feminists come in and scream about how all men are 'terrible and must be put in concentration camps', only to be pushed out by the supporting cast. Mallow then turns up, sharing calamari rings with the supporting cast, and ends up encountering a ring. Upon rubbing this ring, Arylon and her dancers turn up out of nowhere and start dancing to the beat of "Material World" by Madonna while simultaneously singing it. DEVO appear again, minus energy domes and radiation suits, and wearing their New Traditionalist Pomp plastic wigs and blue V-neck T-shirts with the New Traditionalists astronaut logo on the black sleeves to sing "Speed Racer" and "Race of Doom", before they walk offstage to reveal members of the Supporting Cast driving electric go karts over the stage floor. Then Microsoft Sam takes a dump on the track, causing the go karts to crash into the audience. Overly Sexualized Elf warns the townsfolk of the arrival of Santa via a Marijuana-induced rendition of "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" Soon Dr. Robotnik sings his sexy song, "My Pingas" to the startled audience. The Catillac Cats then appear to dance to the "Cats & Co." theme. Hector and Wordsworth have gay s x on stage to a startled audience. Halfway through, Robbie Rotten appears and pulls down a curtain over HectorxWordsworth, stating "Don't let your kids watch it!" before the Cats leave the stage. Horrendously badly drawn Ronnie AnnexLincoln fanart similar to this disaster flies through the air and PPG Loud House fanart simutaneously flies through the air at the exact same time, and Lincoln and Ronnie Anne then proceed to rip the art to shreds and throw the shredded pieces at the audience. One last Ronnie Anne picture flies down, and Ronnie Anne screams about how she doesn't look like how she does in this picture (which is the one that flew down). She mostly complains about how that despite her breasts look fully developed in the picture, she states that she's only 11 years old and her breasts aren't even close to being fully developed. Then, Lincoln comes and makes sexual remarks about Ronnie going through puberty, complete with him making boob honking gestures towards her chest. and she pushes him off the stage and strots off. Sarah and Harper walk in and bump into eachother after being finished with walking. They then talk about the fanart and apologize about Lincoln's actions, and it then cuts to Lincoln being rolled onto the stage in a hospital bed with wheels, while Harper implies he is in a coma by remarking "His eyes look like they're sewn shut." Then, Elise comes on the stage and screams about Septiplier and smacks everyone in the face and starts laughing like a psycho, only to be punched in the eye by Sarah. Old Man comes and stage and declares "This pantomime has the characters talking! It's completely useless now!" He then does his "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" noise and sings "I Am the Old Man!", a spoof of Black Lace's version of the kids song "I Am the Music Man". Billy Mays then hawks Oxi Clean as he proceeds to cyberbully minorities in the audience. Vince Offer walks in front of the stage without knowing the play is happening. The Reppies then appear and sing "Love Without Anger" while Derango headbutts Tessa's a . Peter Panda and Krampus fight. General Boy then appears to read the Devolutionary Oath, but is cut off by the curtain closing. Sarah hands some Pepper Spray to Krampus and sprays it right into Peter Panda's eyes, causing Peter Panda to tear up and wail. The fight was then over, and we cut to the next act. Act 3 We first see Mallow walking in with a blue bowl of vegitable soup, and she is stirring it with a spoon. She is then interrupted right when she begins eating by a screaming Harper being chased by Krampus. Krampus is heard threatening to take Harper to Hell in a burlap sack, as it implies she was naughty this year. Harper starts to cry and wail, and Lana runs off with her little sister in her arms. Sportacus appears (coming down from a prop hot air balloon reused from one of the Icelandic pre-LazyTown plays, Glanni Glæpur í Latabæ), and the cast and Sportacus sing the song "Krampus Won't Come at Christmastime", to the tune of "No One's Lazy in LazyTown" Robbie Rotten then performs all three of his famous hit songs with his look-alikes to the startled audience. He ends up stepping on the ring Mallow dropped earlier, causing Arylon to come onto the stage. Arylon then proceeds to take a random woman from the audience and put her in a quiz show with Robbie. Robbie is about to answer the $100,000,000,000 dollar question which will earn him a dream vacation to Cuba, however an Emergency Alert System test (in Canadian performances an Alert Ready test) interrupts him. Despite this, Robbie answers it correctly and wins. Krampus comes in, but is then murdered by Azzie. Shortly after, Poppet turns up and plays on the swing, before jumping off and going to the local Zizzi. She talks to Mallow, who is making a pizza while simultaneously playing Super Mario Run. Lana suddenly comes in and says that there's a new competition up and running, the grand prize being a trip to Wutai (wherever that is). Harper jumps out of a burlap sack being held by Sarah, adressing that she couldn't breathe and could almost die. Sarah wanted to pretend she was Kampus and said she was taking Harper to a volcano to throw her in it, but Sarah fools Harper by taking her to the local Zizzi. Then, Poppet returns to the stage having ordered some Spaghetti and decides to talk with Sarah and Harper about the trip to Wutai, only for Lana to come in with a cup of Vienna Coffee, which she intends to share with Mallow. We then see Lincoln at a corner booth, snorting some bath salts. After a few minute he begins to hallucinate and ask where Ronnie Anne is. Despite not being a lisenced driver, Poppet drives everyone to the stage, where Ronnie is running around the rows of chairs. To get her attention, Lincoln makes Old Man's "HEEEEEEEEE!" noise and jumps on Ronnie. Harper, who snuck along for the ride, demands Lincoln to stop, and we then see Lincoln trying to go against Ronnie's wishes and staring at her like he's going to have his way with her, and right before Lincoln begins to, Robbie Rotten pulls a curtain, demanding "Don't let your kids watch it!", while crying noises are heard. Then it cuts back to the local Zizzi, where Lana and Mallow are sharing some Vienna coffee and playing Super Mario Maker. All of a sudden, some Penguin Judges come dancing in, followed by members of the Supporting Cast who are filming them for "Strictly Random-ness". Also with them is a girl with a chainsaw, who happens to be the first candidate for the show. It just happens to be Azzie, who murdered Krampus earlier. DEVO are the second candidates, who sing "Love Without Anger" Spanish-style (it's just Mark and Jerry screaming the lyrics while the other band members mime to an instrumental version of the Aquabats' cover of the song). They get booted off. Poppet is the third candidate, who murders two vegans after forcefeeding them Meat Lovers Pizza. She finishes second place. Azzie wins. And to celebrate, she sends in DEVO, and the Vari-Lites from the first act, and they start dancing to Whip It. After the song, Azzie puts the lights away and DEVO come off the stage. Ronnie runs on the stage, shaking and whimpering. She states Lincoln is a monster and Lincoln runs off the stage, right before Azzie calls him a "sad horny b ard". Lincoln is pelted with tomatoes and he runs off the stage. Act 4 Later, in the park, Mallow is cooking pasta on a campfire. Lana sneaks up on her and asks what she's doing. Mallow then proceeds to sing "Let it Go" by Idina Menzel while over-dramatic special effects occur and the supporting cast start dancing alongside her. Lana covers her ears, and states that every day for a whole year, Sarah and Harper made her sit through the whole Frozen soundtrack for 4 hours each day. She then runs away with her sisters. Suddenly, Hector and Wordsworth appear, and take off their clothing. Mallow tells the audience to scream "No!" if Hector is about to take his pe s out, but they fail, and Hector and Wordsworth f ck each other in the a , but then Robbie Rotten pulls down a curtain, demanding "Don't let your kids watch it!" After thanking Robbie for censoring the honestly disgusting scene, Lana, Sarah, Harper and Mallow end up finding Arylon's ring in a pizza box, and using it to summon her. Azzie then uses her chainsaw to cut the pizza into fourteen slices - two for each of Arylon's dancers and one for every other character present on the stage at the time. Later, Poppet is seen in town, suddenly coming across a TV screen which is telling the news to the general community. It is then shown that Mallow is typing up the news story on a computer, with the newsreader saying exactly what Mallow types. Lana then walks up to Mallow and asks what she's doing before asking if she can give a shot at it. Mallow says no, but changes her answer to yes when Lana gives her a death stare. Lana proceeds to type an absurd story about aliens invading the planet on Christmas Eve, only for Mallow to slap her away and reassure everyone that she has no insight on alien invasions. Mallow and Lana then proceed to have a fight while tapping random letters on the keyboard, with the newsreader actually reading these letters out. Meanwhile, a stuttering kid annoys DEVO, asking if they like Teen Titans Go. They then sing "Jocko Homo" while Azzie viciously murders the kid. The kid, who is supposed to be dead, gets up and walks off stage (special effect failure!) as the audience wonders what the heck just happened. Poppet then comes onto the stage and talks to Azzie about the possibility of an alien invasion. Azzie doesn't reply, so Poppet then decides to share a pizza with Azzie if she talks to her. Azzie agrees so long as she can cut the pizza using her chainsaw. Aliens then come, and they then blow up. Poppet cries that they died and came early, before the curtain comes down on her. Azzie eats pizza slices off of her chainsaw, accidentally turning it on. Blood starts oozing out out her mouth and she falls face flat on the table. Azzie is declared dead. At this point, Pitchy comes along and steps on Arylon's ring, thus summoning her and her dancers. The two eventually begin to battle one another by saying famous quotes, such as "bigger isn't always better", "small things please small minds", "the best things come in small packages" and "the bigger they are, the harder they fall". Act 5 Azzie comes back to life after DEVO sings "Girl U Want" to her. After that, Josh 1 and Josh 2 (Josh Freese and Josh Hager) of DEVO go to Riff-Raff's house to chew Red Man chewing tobacco and drink Bürger Classic beer while pelting activists demonstrating against the Washington Redskins' name who just happen to be outside the junkyard the Catillac Cats live in with dry ice bombs. Robbie Rotten then proceeds to turn Azzie into a female version of himself, and then Robbie has gay s x with Sportacus, but not before pulling down a curtain on himself and Sportacus, saying "Don't let your kids see our gay s x!" Mallow pulls down a curtain over that curtain and says "Homosexuals are an abomination and unnatural people! Man + Woman is what GOD wants!". Mallow is then burnt alive by a member of the Supporting Cast with a flamethrower wearing a Gay Pride T-shirt, who then goes to burn a Christian flag that's nearby. It then cuts to Lana and her sisters at home watching a German PSA about a man taking his son around town and showing him gruesome things (This PSA, to be exact.) However, Lana thinks this is a good idea and it cuts to a graveyard. Sarah is digging up some dead bodies in a graveyard and Harper peeps into the back of the graveyard to see a man overdosing on heroin. We see Ronnie dabbing to Hoodie On by Matt and Kim, then Azzie's apparition dabs with Ronnie before sawing her leg off. Mallow's dead body is thrown by Hector and Wordsworth into the audience, however, she comes back alive. Old Man comes back and makes his "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" noise for 55 seconds. Tito Dick comes in and starts whipping his p is to the beat of "The Mine Song" from LazyTown. On this notice, Robbie Rotten pulls a curtain down, saying "don't let your kids watch it!". Luan Loud comes in and starts thinking about dirty jokes, and because her hormones are going everywhere, her prop flower begins spinning and squirting out water. Star Butterfly comes in and screams while beating her chest like a gorilla, screaming "HARAMBE IS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!". Marco Diaz comes in a dress while dancing to If It Ain't Love by Jason Derülo, a skeleton pops out and jumps on Luan and sucks out her soul. After that, Star Butterfly blows up the skeleton and puts Luan's soul back in. They then have lesbian s x. DEVO then appear, again, to perform "Monsterman" as Pitchy, the dark overlord appears. Poppet's sister, who looks exactly like Poppet herself, then comes on and sings several songs by Madness, including "Baggy Trousers" and "Our House". She is then interrupted by a newsreader talking about the obvious alien invasion and that several people are dying and then coming back to life repetitively. He also points out that Christmas Eve is tomorrow, shocking Poppet's sister. Meanwhile, this video starts to blare in the background as the stars in the sky explode millions of Porygon, and two hundred UFOs break down to the ground. The aliens then come out, but then give up on the invasion and the entire thing occurs in reverse. Poppet and Mallow are then executed via firing squad for the existence of the alien invasion subplot. The firing squad then kills Luan, Star, Marco, the Skeleton, Old Man, Tito Dick and Robbie Rotten. Poppet, Mallow, Luan, Star, Marco, the Skeleton, Old Man, Tito Dick, and Robbie Rotten then come back to life and kill the firing squad with Ginsu knifes. Act 6 Mallow comes across Lana, Sarah and Harper in the park. After a short conversation, the group decide to work together to clean up the town. While they do, they sing "Reach for the Stars" from the 2010 video game Sonic Colours. Soon, as the residents of the town go around the giant aluminum pink Christmas tree in the middle of the town. Suddenly, Mrs. Mavilda attempts to cut down the tree along with Krampus and The Dark Overlord, however, all of sudden, all three are struck by a lightning bolt (represented by a laser light). Mallow pounces on Mrs. Mavilda and smacks her in the temple with a soup spoon. Azzie's apparition kills Krampus. Arylon then comes along when Azzie accidentally steps on her ring, and all of a sudde, the Dark Overlord appears and kidnaps Arylon. Having witnessed this, Lana decides that she will rescue Arylon. Mallow asks her how she will do this, considering that the bus fare won't be cheap. Arylon, meanwhile, is stuck in the Dark Overlord's secret lair, which has been outfitted with a laser beam that turns you into lemon and lime jelly with even the slightest touch. Suddenly, The Catillac Cats come and force feed the Dark Overlord broken vinyl records. Lana and her friends appear shortly after, leading to Lana having a sword fight with the Dark Overlord while the cast encourage her. Mallow then cooks some pepperoni pizza and pours some kerosine in a glass cup, and forces the Dark Overlord to eat it at gunpoint. Dark Overlord then plops on the ground, presumably dead. Everyone then goes in a circle and dances to Gentleman by PSY. The party stops when Lana secretly jumps out a nearby window and everyone then follows her. The group then find themselves back in town, Arylon included, only to come across Santa and his Overly Sexualised Elf. The entire cast then sing the latest hit song together in the pantomime's finale, and it ends with Mallow now stating she supports gay marriage, and it shows a circle transition, covering everyone but Mallow. She sticks her head out and waves a Gay pride flag, and waves goodbye to the audience. The pantomime is then over. Category:Pantomime Category:Crossovers